As a matchmaker who has been matching people for years, here is what I pay attention to.

People ask me all the time what makes someone stand out at our events. They usually expect me to say something about looks, or height, or what’s on their business card.

Honestly? Those things get someone a first glance but don’t get someone a second date.

After watching hundreds of conversations spark (and a few fizzle) across the room, I keep noticing the same three things in the people who leave a real impression.

1. They’re actually curious about you

The people who do best at our events aren’t working the room trying to be liked. They’re just… interested. In the actual human standing in front of them.

I always tell people: stop asking yourself “how do I get them to like me” and start asking “what’s one thing I want to know about this person.” It changes everything about how a conversation feels.

2. They’re kind — even when no one’s “watching”

This is the one I notice fastest, and honestly the one that tells me the most.

How someone says hello to a stranger, how they talk to the bartender. Whether they wave over the person hovering near the edge of the group. Whether they’re still warm to someone even when there’s clearly no spark.

Confidence is nice. Confidence with kindness underneath it? That’s the thing people remember on the drive home.

3. They’re actually there

This is the whole point of meeting in person, isn’t it? They are putting a phone away and keeping their eyes up. Actually listening instead of half-listening while you plan your next line.

A small challenge for the night

If you’re coming to one of our events, try this:

  • Introduce yourself to three people you’d normally walk past.
  • Don’t leave early — the room shifts as the night goes on, and some of the best people show up “late.”
  • Try to leave every conversation having made the other person feel like they mattered, even for five minutes.

You don’t need a perfect line or a perfect outfit. You need to show up open, curious, and a little bit brave.

That’s genuinely what people remember.

Can’t wait to see you at our events and introduce you around.

Haven’t bought a ticket yet? Check out our events page to see what’s happening next.