As a matchmaker and event host, I get to observe something fascinating: how people interact when they enter a room full of strangers.
Some people naturally attract conversations, while others unintentionally send signals that say, “Please don’t approach me,” even when they genuinely want to meet someone.
After hosting numerous singles mixers, here are a few things I’ve noticed that can make you more approachable:
1. Put your phone away.
I see this all the time. Someone walks into an event, feels a little uncomfortable, and immediately reaches for their phone.
I understand the instinct, but looking at your phone sends a message that you’re busy and unavailable. Look around, make eye contact, and give someone an opportunity to say hello.
2. Don’t hide behind your friends.
Ladies, this one is for you!
Coming with a friend can make an event less intimidating, but spending the entire evening together can limit your opportunities.
A group of three or four women standing in a tight circle can be intimidating for a man to approach.
Curious about matchmaking? Let’s Talk.
3. Smile! Seriously, it makes a difference.
You don’t need to walk around with a permanent smile, but a warm expression and a little eye contact can make someone feel welcome before you’ve exchanged a single word.
Sometimes, that’s all the encouragement someone needs to approach you.
4. Position yourself where conversations happen naturally.
Standing alone in a corner might make you feel comfortable, but it doesn’t necessarily help you meet people.
Spend time near the bar, food stations, or areas where people naturally gather. These spaces make it easier to start a conversation without feeling like you’re interrupting someone.
5. Don’t make people feel like they’re being evaluated.
I’ve observed people approach someone, exchange a few sentences, and immediately sense that they’re being judged against a checklist.
You don’t need to decide whether someone is your future spouse in the first two minutes.
Be curious and ask questions. Enjoy the interaction without putting pressure on every conversation to lead somewhere.
6. Remember that confidence doesn’t always look like being the loudest person in the room.
Some of the most approachable people I’ve observed are actually quite reserved.
They listen attentively, smile, ask thoughtful questions, and make others feel comfortable.
You don’t have to become an extrovert to be approachable. You simply need to show that you’re open to connecting.
One final observation from behind the scenes:
I’ve seen incredibly attractive, accomplished, interesting singles leave events without making meaningful connections, while someone who might not immediately stand out ends up having wonderful conversations all evening.
The difference isn’t always looks, status, or even confidence.
Sometimes, it’s simply how welcome you make other people feel in your presence.
At your next singles event, instead of asking yourself, “Will anyone approach me?” try asking:
“Am I making it easy for someone to approach me?” That small shift in mindset can change your entire evening.
